The very first day I hit my mat, I didn’t know any of the shit the teacher was saying

"As I sit here and write these words, I begin with a reflection on my mental & physical health. From the outside looking in, I was the poster child of what it looks like to live a healthy life. I ate my vegetables, drank water, partook in libation moderately. I exercised, I ran, I danced.. I did ALL of the things I was supposed to do & yet none of that mattered. None of that shit mattered... . My name is Niche @nicheculturedflow & the very first time I felt broken was when I had my miscarriage on my birthday. I blamed myself: if I would have ran less or danced less or did all of the shit less & sat my ass down somewhere, my baby would be here & yet there I was staring at that silent screen willing & pleading for God to let me see a heartbeat. Seriously God let me see a heartbeat. I will do anything, ANYTHING, just please let my baby have a heartbeat! . I sank into depression . One day, about a month later, I received a random email from a local yoga studio (Yoga One) I hadn’t practiced at in months & only a handful of times, inviting me to participate in a 40 day yoga practice & book study after my miscarriage . I could never have imagined that by giving a simple yes, this would be the healing & wholeness I needed in my life. I was broken like 'oh shit broken-broken, not eating broken, always crying broken, superrrrrrrr quiet broken' . The very first day I hit my mat, I didn’t know any of the shit the teacher was saying, remember saying “What the phuck” MANY TIMES that day & yet I left with a feeling of understanding allllll of the shit I needed to. With a continuous practice, I truly gained a sense of “it wasn’t your fault Niché” . Each day after my practice, I learned to ease into my pain, be aware of my it, acknowledge my pain & then slowly & surely I eased into letting that shit go. Yoga forced me to use tools I didn’t know were accessible to me in that way; my breathe gave me the ability to release & drishti gave me the opportunity to see what was important . Hell Yeah #yogasavedmelife & it keeps saving my life every single day 🙏 . . Oh, FYI: I’m a badass when on my mat now and I only say 'WTF!! every other pose instead of every pose 😉 .