My name is @thesocalette & #yogasavedmylife 💚

"A dancer up until my late 20s, I was trained to exude perfection & grace under any circumstance. But after failing to get into a collegiate dance program, my self-worth went from fragile to nonexistent. I succumbed to disordered eating & an emotionally & physically abusive relationship where I learned what gaslighting was for the first time

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After not getting into the dance program, I tried the free yoga class I'd previously avoided - since it couldn’t possibly be as challenging or fun as dance!

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The yamas and niyamas were lost on me. On the mat, I just went through the motions.I sank further into that toxic codependent relationship just to feel worthy of the world. That toxicity eventually grew to abusing pills & alcohol, & losing my yoga practice for 2 years

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One day I realized enough was enough. I moved, entered yoga teacher training, & lived tucked far away from anyone but those I practiced yoga with. I was blessed with some of the greatest yogis to guide me in my training. The ashtanga teachings of the 8 limbs, & the realization that yoga is for the whole being helped release the weight of guilt & shame I carried. It taught me self-love & cultivated the ability to find joy again. For the first time in my life, I found Isvarapranidhana- surrender

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5 years later I relapsed into a second gaslit relationship complete with pills, alcohol, & an emotionally abusive man. What had confused me the most was he was a police officer & I had this brainwashed notion that because of his uniform he could never do wrong. Behind closed doors, I kept my head down, stopped eating just to feel in control, & had panic attacks

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To friends & family we were the perfect couple. When I finally got the courage to leave him, that’s when I finally found aparigraha- the detachment from people, things, & mindsets that did not serve me

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Yoga was there for me for me when I couldn’t dance and was afraid to speak. It taught me to show up for myself when I couldn’t rely on a relationship to show up. I’ve learned to unashamedly be gentle to myself, while fiercely loving and defending the people I serve and this state that I love"