"As I started yoga Feb 2017, I was in a dark place, depression hit me like a train, for the second time, & I thought I just won't get out of this one
I’m together with my husband for 19 years now, married 10 & for the last 6 years we have been trying to conceive. Unfortunately, impossible naturally due to my Endometriosis. We searched then for the scientific way, we went through 3 rounds of IVF. The first round was successful in someway… first positive, then negative, then positive again: finally negative
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It was a roller coaster of feelings, questions, & I didn’t understand, I didn’t know how to cope...but I still had a bit of strength, “ hope, we went for the second round 2 months later
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The same outcome: that’s where I fell in this terrible hole, depression, darkness & sadness. Crying was my everyday motto. Everywhere I saw a baby, a pregnant woman, I would just start crying. I didn’t want to go out, not to see anyone, just blindfold my eyes and cry. I was stuck in this state, but I knew it
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Sometimes it is scary when you don’t know you are there. And I thought I need something to calm my emotions, to clear my mind & help me go through the days not questioning, not suffering, just wishing to clear everything like an eraser. I started meditating, & slowly doing some flows… just Yoga
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My mind started clearing, my body started feeling better, I could sleep at night, & my soul was in peace. I was in peace🙏
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Since then, I have a daily yoga practice of 2-3 hrs at home. I felt energized everyday, I felt happy, although I could remember what happened, I would get sad, but just continued. Until finally we thought of giving it another try. We did. Unfortunately not a positive one
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But this time it wasn’t so hard. The sadness was there, the horrible feeling of not being able to conceive, the emptiness, the questions. I guess its all normal. But this time I had the strength to channel it. I didn’t spend months crying, or feeling guilty. I practiced my yoga like always, & keep on doing it
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Yoga has been and will always be my therapist. Yoga saved my life ❤
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