Surviving Munchausen By Proxy
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"I don’t remember feelings of comfort & safety as a child, or that my body was my own sacred space. I remember after my parents’ divorce, my Mother started taking me to multiple Dr's appointments
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I was 6 & it didn’t seem strange to me she was taking me to the people meant to heal. I trusted my mother. By the time I was 16, I had been hospitalized over 9 times; 3 diagnostic surgeries, numerous invasive tests & medication trials that would all later prove to be medically unnecessary .
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I broke away from my mentally ill mother after my husband & I became pregnant with our daughter. The shock of realizing I was going to have a daughter sent me into a depressive state that also produced deep-rooted disordered eating behavior, with flashbacks of my childhood & lacking any self-love or trust in myself to care for this amazing gift from GOD, I turned to hope & sought treatment aged 30
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I then met a wonderful yoga teacher: a light was so bright in my darkest time. Her teachings of the ethical practice of yoga & the importance of breathing patterns, was new to me. For the first time ever, I felt connected to my body, emotions, thoughts & breathe. Yoga gave me space to release the years of physical & emotional pain locked inside. I remember the first time I cried during a yoga practice was so cleansing
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I also did cognitive talk therapy, but the defining element in recovery was the lifestyle approach to yoga . It opened doors to life I never knew existed: of patience, compassion, grace, & strength. This poured into my relationship with my daughter
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Years later, yoga is something she and I enjoy doing together, focused on the ethics & moral observances of yoga I love teaching her the importance of loving herself & to feel strong & empowered. She reminds me to enjoy the moments we often take for granted because we are so caught up in past or future thoughts
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Yoga has taught me to myself. To make mistakes & treat myself with compassion: learn from them & turn them into the greatest gifts of life 🙏
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