"In my early twenties I fell into my first major depressive episode caused by an undiagnosed panic disorder
I am a creative empath at heart. From an early age I always felt as though my impending doom was imminent and if nothing happened during the day it would get me at night in the form of sleep paralysis. It took many years to realise that what I was experiencing on a daily basis was not normal
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Despite my best efforts that dreadful feeling didn’t go away. I would say no to social events, or regretting saying yes and dreading the days to the actual event
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Forever lingering in the past and/or trying to control the future - never fully being in the present moment- always worrying, thinking and feeling
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When that undisguised panic disorder and depression brought me down in my 20s I came face to face with an existential crisis
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On my own with my anxiety and depression (buried in my heart) I packed my bags and went off to India, to learn yoga and overcome fears – cliché, I know, but driven by desperation. I needed to learn how to control my breath, my movement, my reactions and most importantly my anxiety and fast
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Throughout the course I was overwhelmed by emotion and I specifically remember a moment in a pranayama class where tears rolled down my face. It was as though I took my first real ‘full’ breath in years. I made peace with my anxiety although it is and will forever be part of me. Practicing Yoga allows me to have better control over it giving me techniques and tools to calm myself when it creeps up
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I didn’t intend to pursue a career as a yoga instructor; I merely wanted to know more about yoga for the sake of my own mental wellbeing.
I have merely scraped the surface of my journey with Yoga. I’m hungry for more knowledge, self discovery, discipline and a deep desire to help individuals like myself to experience the true healing powers of this sacred practice
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The asanas center me into the present moment fully and wakefully
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Yoga saved my life and I thank the universe for such a sacred practice " Pauli 🙏
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