"I heard the neurologist say 'I'm sorry. You have Multiple Sclerosis'
My world stopped. It was 2013, in the middle of a breakup with my boyfriend of 4 years, the house we bought together up for sale.
I grew up with mistrust, addictions & violence surrounding me.
I'd overcome that. I'd fought my way through depression & suicidal thoughts on the way. And now It was all falling apart"
.
. "MS. I knew what it was. My mom had it.
The doctors told me medication could control it, so I started the course.
If I didn't feel sick already, I did now.
One injection a week in my thigh muscle: giving me 48 hours of exhausting muscle & joint pain, fever & bad headaches. They put me on different drugs, that led to anaphylactic shock twice; pills turned my skin purple & my whole body burned. Nothing worked for me & depression returned
.
For over 3 years I suffered severe fatigue, memory loss & pain
.
In 2017 I, quit the medicine & started an anti inflammatory diet I'd researched. No support from the doctors
.
My fatigue decreased my joints stopped feeling sore & I started sleeping better at night. I could finally consider exercise & yoga sounded perfect. .
I booked a free trial class & I was sold. Focusing on understanding the flow of the class & asanas my mind was quiet. There were no time for worry or destructive thoughts.
I started going daily & after some months my life slowly moved toward yoga & meditation
.
Fast forward to 2019 & I now have 2 years of practice, 3 yoga retreats & a 200hr Yoga Teacher Training. I learned to live free, listen to my body at a deeper level than ever & understand what it is telling me.
I will never be free of my MS but yoga has made me accept it & live with it in peace
.
I still have bad days. But now I'm strong enough to handle it because I know that even 20 minutes of yoga on a dark day, will lift my spirit & open my heart to receive & give love
.
Next up a 300hr TT in India. It will be hard AF! But I will succeed! I am forever a student of yoga & for that I'm grateful.
Maybe someday I'll need MS related medical treatment again, but for now yoga is all I need 🙏
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