"Throughout my life I've struggled with feelings of abandonment & lack of ownership over my body. At the age of 15 I was sexually assaulted & dealt with it silently, on my own for years due to shame, feelings of unworthiness, & overall lack of care for myself. I instead wanted to focus my life on helping to build others up in a way that I desperately needed all those years ago"
.
. "I married my high school love & had 2 beautiful girls. Although I struggled with postpartum depression after each birth, I made it through âknowingâ that the family we built would forever be by my side
.
My life took a turn when I was diagnosed Meniereâs Disease, an inner ear disorder that, for me, causes extreme vertigo, hearing loss, & at times loss of consciousness. The confusion, isolation, & terror that I felt as I went through countless medical tests & therapies while permanently losing my hearing in one ear was unbearable. The past traumas quickly & fiercely returned which, in turn, caused me to hide this from people
.
In my mind, knowledge of this would only make them view me as weak & finally give them the reason they'd been waiting for to abandon me like others
.
In the midst of my health struggles my world, my marriage, came crashing down. For the entirety of my adult life I'd given all of myself & sacrificed so much, for things to end as they always did in my eyes, abandonment
.
After looking in the mirror & no longer recognizing my then 99 pound withered body & spirit I searched for anything to keep me afloat
. I walked into a yoga studio & walked out a new person. After that day I began to focus on the breath that reminded me that I am alive. I began to focus on the muscles that held my insanely strong body upright despite all of its scars. I began to recognize the light within myself & vowed to bring awareness of this light to others. I completed my yoga teacher training & now mission is to promote healing, self-love, & fierce empowerment for all beings. I can only hope that someone, somewhere will hear my story or see what I do & find encouragement to keep going đ Cara .
Comments