"Yoga entered my life over 12 years ago when I was physically & mentally broken, close to death from anorexia. My therapist suggested yoga, little did I know how much it would change my life"
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. "My mental issues started much earlier as I was only 4 years old when war broke out in Sarajevo & after 8 months of living under siege my mum & I were forced to escape & resettle in the UK as refugees
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Having experienced severe childhood trauma, I had dissociated from my memories but held deeply ingrained pain, unable to process what had happened to me at such a young age. Much of this was internalised within my body & the seeds of self hate planted
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I developed anxiety disorders, complex trauma, OCD, body dysmorphia & chronic depression which led to repeated suicidal thoughts. Everything imploded when I turned 19 & spiralled into anorexia. I spent 6 years completely lost, filled with self-loathing & isolated from everyone
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It was only after I began therapy for the 2nd time that my body began to heal physically, 8 years later my mind is still healing. Though I'd been practicing asana for a few years, it was only after I embraced recovery more fully that my practice developed into something deeper
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Yoga felt like being embodied for the first time in my life, connected to my body. The practice allowed me to experience mindfulness & stopped my racing thoughts. Learning to be in my body & integrating physical sensations, emotions & thoughts with non-attachment or judgment has been incredibly healing
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To feel comfortable & safe in your body after years of hating it is not easy & takes time
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Yoga has been my anchor, it has allowed me to connect to my true self, to begin dismantling damaging beliefs & allowed me to connect not only to my self, but to others & gain a deeper understanding of the connection we all have to everything
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Yoga hasn't healed my illnesses, but has allowed me to learn ways of managing my pain, of living & being in this world & relating to others. Trauma & anorexia shattered & disembodied me, yoga has been the practice of putting myself back together 🙏
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