"Yoga, meditation and some eastern philosophies saved my life. Or rather; gave me the tools to save my own life
"I was overcome with hatred for my body at around the age of 13. I started gaining more weight (as everyone at that age does) & thought I was ‘too fat’ & decided to try & lose some. I didn’t think of eating healthier, just went to starving myself. Straight down the rabbit hole into self destruction
.
After about 6 months of starving myself I started binging, a lot. Naturally, as when you starve yourself, your body is GOING TO rebound. So, I fell deep into bulimia. From 13-18 years old I binged & purged multiple times a day, everyday. As well as self mutilating, being a complete mess of anger, victim mentality, nihilism, pessimism .
At around 17 I started practicing a little bit of yoga, mostly to do more exercise at first. But it became something so much more. I became vegan. I decided to recover. I’m not going to lie & say it was easy. But during that painful time of recovery, yoga became my best friend. Then soon after, so did meditation
.
I had to unlearn all of the societal conditioning, & cultural programming instilled since birth
.
Yoga proved to me that I am capable of overcoming anything physically, mentally. That I am not broken, that I can grow & learn endlessly. Yoga healed more than my body, but my entire soul. Yoga taught me how to breathe again. To breathe through life. Every time I feel hopeless, I remember to just breathe through it. Like a challenging pose during my practice, breathe through it
.
My asana practice broke down the boundaries of what I thought I was capable of. I took that off the mat. Freed from virtually all my anxiety, depression, pessimism. 100% free of my eating disorder, & the endless rut of doing nothing because I assumed I was going to die before I hit adulthood
.
I was right, I did die. I killed my old self so I could start a new, beautiful life
.
We are so much more than what we’re told to believe we are. We’re capable of so much. I’ll never again let myself believe that I am incapable of true happiness & doing what I love 🙏
Comments