"A past riddled with childhood molestation, bullying, depression, PTSD & lost motivation to live is hard to heal. My innocence stolen by someone close to my family
Living with someone who sexually, physically & mentally abuses you for a large chunk of childhood laid the foundation for self doubt, suicidal thoughts, pain, worthlessness & nightmares. How do you love yourself when you learn at an early age all you’re good for is being held captive in silence & abused? Childhood should be full of laughter & good memories. Mine? Darkness. When I revisit my childhood I need a flashlight to shed a little light on the darkest places of my life
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My PTSD was so bad, the minute my mom dropped me off at school each day I called her to come get me. Too afraid to go to school for fear of my abuser finding me. When I told my mom about the abuse, the police interviewed & didn’t believe me because I was only 9
The abuse happened. every. Single. Day. People in my classes thought I was weird because of my panic attacks. I was called a slut: their words bullets to my traumatized soul. I was prescribed 8 anti depression, anxiety & sleep medications from 9-19 years . Finally, I decided I needed a change
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I'd dabbled in yoga a few times but never absorbed its foundations, true yoga & 8 limbs. Free of medication I needed something to help lower my anxiety, anger & heal my soul
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Focusing on the pillars of yoga & foundation of breath helped me manage my emotions, relieve stress, & stay present in the moment. After I had my son I needed to get myself in check so I could be the best mom for him. Already having such an insecure view of myself postpartum was hard. I made the decision to start yoga as a daily practice. 17 months of daily yoga & my confidence has grown; I'm becoming more comfortable in my body: Calmer & finally finding peace & joy in each day. There's medicine in this movement. I am now studying a YTT ; planning to work for a non-profit yoga org. when certified to help spread the benefits of this lifestyle. Yoga saved me. I don't know what I'd do without it 🙏
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